10. Discuss your first love and first kiss.
I had my first kiss in the 7th grade, right before volleyball practice. With palms sweating and my entire team watching, I was more than a little nervous. I was dating Jimmy Schweitzer, he was so cute and tall, really tall. I don't know that I would have had my first kiss that day, but the crowd demanded it. So I looked up, he bent down, and then just like that... it was over. I kissed him and went running off to the gym for practice. Yeah, I literally ran away. I was so excited I remember telling my coach. I remember being in such a great mood, thinking, "Oh my God, this must be love." Jimmy and I dated on and off throughout middle school. "Date", such a ridiculous thing for 12 year old's to do, but I say date meaning we sat by each other at lunch, held hands outside, attended school dances together, and spent our evenings chatting away on AIM.
Was it love with Jimmy Schweitzer? No. Just the excitement and thrill of my first kiss.
There is much more to be said about my first love.
It began like all relationships do, quite simply. He asked me to be his date for homecoming freshman year and I had said yes. A truly great night, one I look back on fondly. That was the night I became his girlfriend. After that, the rest was history, for the next four years we never left each other's side.
Everyone knew him, knew his name, said hi to him in the hallways, admired him.
But in my life he was so much more than someone who always had a smile on his face, he was the reason for the smile on mine. We used to laugh for hours, about everything; Borris the hippo whose real name was Bernice, listening intently to March of the Penguins instead of watching, you name it, we probably laughed about it. Whatever we were doing, we were always having fun. For four years, he was my life. Everywhere I was, he was. He was so charming. Never once forgot a special occasion and always opened my doors. I loved him to the very core of who he was.
Life doesn't always go the way you plan. It has a funny way of surprising you and reminding you you're human. We grew up together, literally, together. We came to define each other, it was always me and him or him and I, never just one or the other. This wasn't always easy and in the years we spent finding each other, we lost ourselves. Imagine loving someone so much that you don't know where you end and they begin. This is what it felt like. A feeling that overwhelmed our friends, our families, and even us.
The things I have been through with this boy have defined and shaped my heart forever. There are moments I love to remember and moments I hate. Moments I can't put to words too that only him and I will share. October 1st, 2005. December 26th, 2007. March 15th, 2008. December 6th, 2008.
Four years together and then in a breathe, just like that, it was over.
The reasons, the hurt, the story, we could both go on forever, but truly, none of it holds a candle to what was. We were unstoppable, on top of the world and I will never forget all that he taught me about life, the world and love.
They say time heals all wounds. Time, tequila and new friends healed ours. We were lucky enough to start a new beginning only 45 minutes away from each other in California. We were always there for when the other needed a little piece of home, because more than anything, that's what we are to each other. Whether it was a tandem bicycle ride and Bailey's with milk, eating an entire Little C's pizza in the car on the way to Half Moon Bay or just a phone call, we have each other and that's what love is. Allowing someone to be all of who they are, with or without you, and being there for them just the same.
I didn't mention his name and I don't need too, because in my life he's so much more than that. He's more than the Homecoming King. More than the guy in the hallway who says hi to everyone. His heart is bigger than most and he gives way too much, but he's even more than that. People love him, because of what they think they know. I love him, because of what I know for sure.
You know it was love when you walk away a better person.
You may not be mine, but you'll be my friend, my hero and my Bear forever.
Here's to finding love again,
Kelci
