I don't have a current relationship. Especially if you don't consider my love affair with Ron or my other quirky passions that consume my day and my night. (And sadly most sane people, don't) Surprised? Don't be. I hate that look of shock when people hear I'm single, "Awh, really? But you're so great..." Yes, I am great and I don't need a boyfriend to be great; so keep the pity your about to throw me in your pocket and stop feeding the women of the world this idea that without a man you're less than you are when you're with one.
Sure, there are moments when being single sucks and yes, that's putting it graciously, but I've come to fully appreciate this time that I have been given to myself.
The truth is being alone is never easy and no one has told us that it would be, but somewhere throughout human history we came to have this ridiculous notion that if we wrap our perfect world in a perfect bubble lock it up in a secret safe and throw away the key, nothing in this life will come to harm us. IF only.
We call this notion, expectation. *shudders*
Expectations (and math) are the root of all evil.
Look up antonyms for expectations, if you ever find one, let me know. In all of the English language there is no one word for not having expectations. Maybe this is because we as humans are too selfish and think to ourselves entirely too often, "I know best!" or "I know exactly the way this should be!!"
In being single this has been my greatest lesson. If there was an antonym for expectation it would be a verb, something we must actively choose to do everyday, it would be remaining in a state somewhere between "content" and "ignorant". Maybe in this instance, just this once, ignorance is okay. What a mess the world would be if we always got OUR way; if everything we had come to expect, became.
So without expectation, I move forward and some days are harder and much lonelier than others, but I serve a mighty God and His plans for me, my life and "my love" are far bigger than even the greatest expectations I can fathom. I don't have to know the story to write it, I just put pen to paper and trust that the words will come.
They say you find love when you least expect it,
K&M
