(Maybe it's the tequila I drink every night before bed...)
Last night my dream was too vivid to ignore.
I woke up in a panic; sweating, with my heart pounding and tears in my eyes.
Truly it was more of a nightmare then a dream.
This is what happened;
I was in a forest, not one that I recognized or have been to before.
I had an overwhelming feeling that I was being watched and I felt fear.
I was watching myself as if I was in a movie.
I began to run through this forest, trying to escape blackness, this heavy disgusting feeling that felt like it was choking me. It weighed heavy on my heart. I felt like I was in danger. There were evil witches and they wanted something from me. (Since I was a little girl I've always had horrible nightmares about witches [and the Pillsbury Dough Boy, but that's a story for another time.].) These aren't your green faced Wizard Of Oz witches, these are your modern day terrifying 'I look like I blend in, but really I'm going to steal your soul' kind of witches.
People I knew were falling to the ground in terror and I watched as my close friend Rusty was killed right in front of me. I was hiding. Pretending to be a Nook. (I know, HAH, right?! In the middle of this terrifying nightmare only my mind would tell myself, "QUICK KELCI! Pretend to be an electronic book!") Needless to say, at the time it felt logical and my disguise worked, because the witches moved on; I kept running.
Suddenly I was in my bedroom. My bedroom was in the forest outside and there was a raging river running through my room. I felt quiet, but only for a moment. There was a dark masked figure standing in my doorway and I felt threatened and scared. Then I snapped, I was angry; enough was enough. I chased after the figure, down a long flight of stairs and suddenly I was in my grandma and grandpa Eppel's old kitchen (the orange one, before the remodel, for those of you who know [for whatever reason this is a common place for the random happenings in my dreams.]) I turned on the lights in the kitchen and started screaming at the figure and told him to stop scaring me. As I yelled, he took off his mask, he hushed me and told me to be quiet, if I said anything more, he told me, they would come.
I woke up.
Now. Silly as it may sound at points. This dream was horrible.
It left me feeling distraught and awake for the next 3 hours.
I decided this being such an intense dream that I would look up the significance behind the major pieces, the pieces I could remember.
The dream evoked feelings, however; that I couldn't find words to describe.
Here is what I found;
"To dream that you are running through the forest, signifies a transitional phase. Follow your instincts. It indicates that you want to escape to a simpler way of life. You are feeling weighed down by the demands of your life."
"To dream about witchcraft, signifies some inner transformation or changes."
"To dream that you are being watched, suggests that you are feeling confined. You feel you are being scrutinized or criticized"
"To dream that you feel fear, indicates that your achievements have not been as successful as you had anticipated. You are experiencing anxieties in various aspects of your life. This indicates that you are experiencing feelings of self-doubt, incompetence, and lack of control in your waking life."
"To see a raging river in your dream, signifies that your life is feeling out of control. You are feeling emotionally unsettled."
"To see someone wearing a mask in your dream, denotes that you are struggling against deceit. If someone removes their mask, then it symbolizes failure in gaining the admiration and/or respect of someone sought for."
"To dream that you are in danger, suggests that negativity is causing you to be depressed about the future."
"To dream that you are hiding, indicates that you are looking for a sense of security and protection."
"To dream that you are holding or expressing anger, symbolizes frustrations and disappointments in yourself."
"To dream that you are going down a flight of stairs, represents your repressed thoughts. It refers to the setbacks that you are experiencing in your life."
"To see light in your dream, represents illumination, clarity, guidance, plain understanding, and insight. Light is being shed on a once cloudy situation or problem. You have found the truth to a situation or an answer to a problem."
"Black symbolizes the unknown, the unconscious, danger, mystery, darkness, or hate. The color invites you to delve deeper in your unconscious in order to gain a better understanding of yourself. It also signifies a lack of love and lack of support. But more positively, black also represents potential and possibilities. It is like a clean or blank slate."
And perhaps my favorite,
"To see a kitchen in your dream, signifies your need for warmth, spiritual nourishment and healing."
Now, some would argue that dreams don't really offer any insight or relevance into our waking lives. Say what you will, but I would argue that this interpretation,
is dead on.
Some of you understand why this is such a 'WOW holy crap!' dream.
For those of you who don't, I wish I had enough energy to rehash it all for you.
This is, after all, a LOT of emotion to cram into just one REM cycle.
So in efforts to make sure that this doesn't become a reoccurring dream, maybe it's best that I address something; even if it is simply for myself.
Regardless of what some may believe about my intentions and motivations for returning to Colorado, the decision has been FAR from easy for me.
BUT I know to the very core of my being, sub-conscious and all,
That home is exactly where I need to be right now.
Even if it's just to spend some time in my grandparents kitchen.
I'm kidding about the tequila,
Kelci
