Isn't it funny how quickly things change? How one moment you feel like you have all the answers for the next 10 years of your life and the next you can't figure out if you want to wear sweatpants or high heels? Life's like that.
What to do next? Where to go?
What if I just don't know...?
When one comes to a crossroads in life, how do we know if it's left or right? Maybe to the left there's a huge city with endless opportunity for success and to the right there's a quiet town where you can enjoy the simple things in life. Why is it always a fork in the road? No one ever talks about what happens if you continue going straight, turning neither left nor right; leaving both the city of dreams and the town of comfort far behind. So what do you do when you come to that point in your life?
You stand alone in solitude. You stand until you cannot stand any longer and then you sit and you don't move and you look to the sky and you scream. You search for answers and for guidance and for a purpose. You ask yourself, but never others, this is your life now, you're ready to do it alone. You wait and you wait and eventually you stand, with confidence, and you begin to walk the path that feels the most right. You continue walking for days, weeks or maybe even years and suddenly there's a pang in your chest and you wander moment through moment, still walking forward, but slowly. You can hear a small but clear voice asking, "What if...?" Time wears on and the voice gets louder and louder, until it's screaming. You're dragging your feet now, hesitant of your next step. And before you know it, you've stopped, tears streaming from your eyes, your mind filled with doubt and you heart with memories, what next? As you stand there frozen, your self-reservation becomes quick sand, move quickly, to the left, the right, forward, but never back. Look back, call back, reach back, but do not move back.
You struggle and you struggle and eventually you triumph, not every time, not all the time, just eventually. And that's life. The road everyone travels. The difference is what you make of it, whether or not you turn, or stay straight doesn't matter. Do you walk slowly because your heart is filled with uncertainty of what could have been; or because you want to enjoy everything along the way? Do you run because you're running from something; or do you run because your full of life? What are you afraid of, the challenges? The quick sand? It's okay to look back, but never remain there, standing and staring at what was or you'll miss everything that's unfolding in front of you. The question is never of left and right, but of moving forward. Move forward, and do so with joy and with certainty. If it feels right, it's right; if it feels wrong, move anyway, with caution and determination. If it doesn't work out there's another fork in the road not far from here; you can ask for directions there.
Standing, but not sinking,
Kelci
